sit with love

Here are 15 tips for co-parenting with an abuser:

1. Seek professional help: A therapist or counselor can provide you with support and guidance as you navigate co-parenting with an abuser. They can also help you develop coping strategies and boundary-setting skills.
2. Stick to a routine: A consistent routine can provide stability for your child, even in the midst of difficult circumstances. Stick to a regular schedule for visitation and communication with your co-parent.
3. Keep records: Document any incidents of abusive behavior, including threatening messages, phone calls, or emails. This can be helpful if you need to seek legal action in the future.
4. Find a support system: Surround yourself with people who can offer emotional support and practical assistance, such as childcare or transportation.
5. Focus on your child: When dealing with an abusive co-parent, it can be easy to get caught up in the drama and forget about the needs of your child. Keep your child’s best interests in mind and try to make decisions that are in their best interest, even if it means compromising with your abuser.
6. Use a parenting plan: A parenting plan is a written agreement that outlines how you and your co-parent will share parenting responsibilities. A parenting plan can be helpful in situations where communication is difficult, and can help reduce conflicts.
7. Set boundaries: It’s important to set boundaries with your co-parent, especially if they have a history of abusive behavior. Let them know what behavior is unacceptable, and what the consequences will be if they cross the line.
8. Communicate in writing: Communicating with an abuser can be challenging, especially if they are skilled at manipulating conversations. Whenever possible, communicate in writing (email, text, or written letters) so there is a record of the conversation.
9. Use a mediator: If communication with your co-parent is difficult, consider using a mediator to facilitate discussions about co-parenting.
10. Keep your emotions in check: It’s natural to feel angry or frustrated when dealing with an abusive co-parent, but try to keep your emotions in check when communicating with them. Responding with anger or aggression can escalate the situation.
11. Be consistent: Consistency in your behavior can help set a positive example for your child. Show up on time for visitations, follow through on commitments, and communicate clearly and respectfully.
12. Avoid triangulation: Triangulation is when one parent tries to involve a third party (such as a grandparent or teacher) in co-parenting discussions. Avoid involving others in your co-parenting discussions, as this can create additional conflicts.
13. Keep your child out of the conflict: Avoid putting your child in the middle of conflicts with your co-parent. This can create feelings of guilt or anxiety for your child.
14. Focus on the big picture: Try to focus on the long-term goals for your child’s well-being, rather than getting caught up in short-term conflicts with your co-parent.
15. Take care of yourself: Co-parenting with an abuser can be emotionally draining. Make sure to take care of yourself by getting enough sleep, exercise, and self-care.

Breadcrumbing is a dating term that refers to the act of giving someone just enough attention or communication to keep them interested, without any intention of committing to a serious relationship. It is a manipulative behavior that involves sending sporadic messages or “breadcrumbs” to the person to maintain their interest, but never actually taking any concrete steps to move the relationship forward.

Some common examples of breadcrumbing include sending occasional flirty texts, liking their social media posts, or making plans that are never actually followed through. Breadcrumbing can be confusing and hurtful for the person on the receiving end, as they are left with false hope and uncertainty about the other person’s true intentions.

One of the key characteristics of breadcrumbing is that it is a one-sided relationship, where the person doing the breadcrumbing holds most of the power and control. They may enjoy the attention and validation they receive from the other person, but are not truly invested in building a meaningful relationship.

It is important to note that breadcrumbing is different from slow dating, where both parties are taking things slow and getting to know each other gradually. Breadcrumbing is a deliberate manipulation tactic that exploits the other person’s emotions for personal gain.

If you suspect that you are being breadcrumbing, it is important to communicate your concerns with the other person and set clear boundaries. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want and need in a relationship, and be willing to walk away if the other person is not willing to meet your needs. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who is willing to invest in a real, committed relationship.

An anxious attachment style can develop when a person has experienced inconsistent or unpredictable caregiving in childhood. It can lead to a tendency to seek out and cling to relationships, as well as a fear of abandonment and rejection. Here are 10 signs of an anxious attachment style:

1. Fear of abandonment: People with an anxious attachment style may fear that their partner will leave them, even if there is no evidence to support this belief.
2. Overthinking: They may obsess over small things and read into every interaction with their partner, looking for signs that they are being rejected or criticized.
3. Need for constant reassurance: They may constantly seek reassurance from their partner to ease their fears of rejection.
4. Jealousy and possessiveness: Anxious individuals may become easily jealous or possessive of their partner, fearing that they will be replaced.
5. Fear of being alone: They may struggle with being alone and may feel like they need to be in a relationship to feel secure and happy.
6. Over-analyzing past relationships: They may spend a lot of time thinking about past relationships and may have difficulty moving on from previous partners.
7. Clinging behavior: Anxious individuals may exhibit clingy behavior, such as calling or texting their partner excessively.
8. Difficulty communicating: They may have difficulty communicating their needs and emotions in a relationship, fearing that their partner will reject or abandon them.
9. Difficulty trusting: They may struggle to trust their partner, even if they have no reason to doubt their loyalty or commitment.
10. Compromising their own needs: Anxious individuals may put their own needs and desires aside in order to please their partner and avoid conflict.

It is important to note that having an anxious attachment style does not mean that a person is inherently flawed or incapable of healthy relationships. With self-awareness, support, and the right tools and techniques, individuals can learn to overcome the negative effects of an anxious attachment style and form secure, fulfilling relationships.

Growing up with a narcissistic parent can have a profound effect on a child’s development and long-term well-being. Narcissistic parents tend to be self-absorbed, manipulative, and demanding, often placing their own needs and desires above those of their children. This can lead to a range of negative outcomes for the child, including emotional and psychological trauma, low self-esteem, and difficulties with relationships.

One of the most significant effects of having a narcissistic parent is the impact on a child’s emotional development. Narcissistic parents may be emotionally distant or unpredictable, creating a sense of instability and anxiety in their children. Children of narcissistic parents may struggle to develop healthy emotional connections with others, as they may feel that their emotional needs were not met or were even actively discouraged.

In addition to emotional difficulties, children of narcissistic parents may also experience psychological trauma. Narcissistic parents may engage in verbal or emotional abuse, belittling their children or blaming them for their own shortcomings. This can lead to a range of psychological issues, including anxiety, depression, and even post-traumatic stress disorder.

Children of narcissistic parents may also struggle with low self-esteem and a lack of confidence. Narcissistic parents may be highly critical of their children, constantly pointing out their flaws or pushing them to achieve unrealistic goals. This can lead to a sense of inadequacy and self-doubt, which can persist into adulthood and impact a person’s ability to form healthy relationships and pursue their goals.

Another common effect of having a narcissistic parent is difficulties with relationships. Children of narcissistic parents may struggle to form healthy relationships with others, as they may have learned to prioritize their parent’s needs over their own or to feel that their emotions are invalid. They may also struggle to trust others or to feel comfortable expressing their own needs and desires, as they may have learned that doing so leads to conflict or rejection.

Despite these challenges, it is possible for children of narcissistic parents to overcome the negative effects of their upbringing. Seeking therapy or support from a mental health professional can be an important step in processing past trauma and developing healthier coping mechanisms. Engaging in self-care activities, such as meditation or exercise, can also be beneficial in promoting emotional well-being and building resilience.

Ultimately, the impact of growing up with a narcissistic parent can be significant and long-lasting. However, with time, effort, and the right support, it is possible for individuals to overcome the negative effects of their upbringing and lead fulfilling and successful lives.

Getting out of an abusive situation can be a difficult and complex process. Here are ten ways to get out of abuse:

1. Reach out for help: This could be from a friend, family member, or a professional such as a therapist or counselor. They can provide emotional support and guidance for you.
2. Develop a safety plan: A safety plan can help you prepare for leaving an abusive situation, including identifying safe places to go, important phone numbers, and resources.
3. Contact a hotline: There are many hotlines available for people experiencing abuse, such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline. They can provide information, support, and referrals to local resources.
4. Make copies of important documents: Important documents such as your passport, birth certificate, and driver’s license should be copied and kept in a safe place outside of the home.
5. Leave when the abuser is not around: This can help to avoid a confrontation or violence, which can be dangerous.
6. Ask for a restraining order: If you are in immediate danger, a restraining order can legally prohibit the abuser from contacting or coming near you.
7. Stay with friends or family: If you have a trusted friend or family member, staying with them temporarily can provide safety and support.
8. Find a safe place to live: This could be a domestic violence shelter or transitional housing program, which provide safe and secure places to live.
9. Get legal advice: A lawyer can provide advice on issues such as divorce, custody, and restraining orders.
10. Focus on self-care: It’s important to take care of yourself during and after leaving an abusive situation. This could include therapy, support groups, and other self-care practices.

Remember, leaving an abusive situation can be a complex process and may take time. It’s important to be patient, reach out for help, and prioritize your safety and well-being.

Love bombing is a manipulative tactic that is often used by individuals to gain control and power over another person. It is a form of emotional manipulation that involves showering someone with excessive affection, attention, and compliments in order to create a false sense of intimacy and connection.

The term “love bombing” originated in the 1970s and was used to describe the intense and overwhelming attention that members of cults and other extreme groups would receive in order to draw them into the group and control their behavior.

In romantic relationships, love bombing can occur when one partner becomes infatuated with the other and begins to shower them with gifts, attention, and compliments. This can create a sense of euphoria and excitement in the recipient, but it can also be a warning sign of a potentially toxic relationship.

Love bombing is often used as a way to gain control over another person. By creating a false sense of intimacy and connection, the love bomber is able to manipulate the recipient’s emotions and actions. This can be used to isolate the recipient from their friends and family, control their behavior, and even engage in abusive behavior.

If you are concerned that you may be the victim of love bombing, it’s important to pay attention to your instincts and seek help if necessary. A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, and communication, and should not involve manipulation or control. If you feel uncomfortable or unsure about the level of attention and affection you are receiving from a partner, it’s important to talk to them about your concerns and seek support from friends, family, or a professional therapist.