“Accepting the love we think we deserve” is a phrase that has become popularized in recent years, thanks to Stephen Chbosky’s novel “The Perks of Being a Wallflower.” This phrase encapsulates the idea that our self-worth can often dictate the kinds of relationships we pursue and accept.
Many of us have been in situations where we have settled for less than we deserve. It could be a romantic relationship, a friendship, or even a work relationship. We tell ourselves that this is as good as it gets and that we should be grateful for what we have. We convince ourselves that we aren’t worth more or that we won’t find anything better.
The problem with this mentality is that it can lead to toxic relationships that are damaging to our mental and emotional well-being. When we settle for less than we deserve, we allow others to treat us poorly, and we may even begin to internalize that mistreatment as something we deserve.
Accepting the love we think we deserve is not just about romantic relationships. It’s about all relationships and how we view ourselves in relation to others. It’s about understanding that we deserve to be treated with respect, kindness, and love.
When we don’t accept the love we deserve, we may find ourselves in relationships that are unhealthy or even abusive. We may tolerate behavior from others that is unacceptable, such as emotional manipulation, verbal abuse, or physical violence. We may also find ourselves giving too much in relationships and not receiving enough in return, which can lead to feelings of resentment and bitterness.
The first step in accepting the love we deserve is to recognize our own self-worth. We need to understand that we are valuable and worthy of love and respect, regardless of our past mistakes or shortcomings. We must learn to love ourselves first before we can expect others to love us.
It’s also essential to set boundaries in our relationships. We need to be clear about what we will and will not tolerate from others. This includes respecting ourselves enough to walk away from relationships that are harmful or toxic. It can be challenging to let go of relationships, especially if we have invested a lot of time and energy into them. However, it’s crucial to remember that we are better off alone than in a relationship that is damaging to our well-being.
Another way to accept the love we deserve is to surround ourselves with people who uplift and support us. It’s important to have friends and family who encourage us to be our best selves and who remind us of our worth. These relationships can help us to build our confidence and to see ourselves in a more positive light.
It’s essential to recognize that accepting the love we deserve is an ongoing process. It’s something that we must work on every day, as we navigate our relationships and our interactions with others. We may still make mistakes and fall into old patterns of behavior, but the important thing is to keep moving forward and to continue to prioritize our own well-being and self-respect.
Accepting the love we think we deserve is a crucial part of our emotional and mental health. It’s about recognizing our own self-worth, setting boundaries, and surrounding ourselves with positive relationships. When we accept the love we deserve, we can build healthy, fulfilling relationships that uplift and support us, and we can live our lives with greater confidence and self-respect.